Some will love me and some will fear me because I don’t sugar coat my life, or hide the darkness…I am actively and always striving to face and heal the darkness. I always felt hurt growing up when people disliked me for this quality…but now I am secure in myself and love myself enough to be ok with not everyone liking me….And to let go of the need to be liked and loved by everyone. I also no longer feel the need to help the entire world grow and transform… all I can control is my own growth and transformation….And to strive to be a good guide for others, especially my kids. Life is not about making the right choice all the time….Life is about facing our choices head on and making the best out of what life throws our way. We will all make a ton of mistakes, and that is how we grow, so I no longer try to run from mistakes, I no longer try to be perfect or put on a facade of being perfect. And I want to honour all of my experiences…the good and bad, for both the darkness and the light are what make us whole and integrated beings.
I always considered myself an emotionally in-tune person, but I am now only realizing just how many of my emotions I suppressed all of my life – in childhood and in my adult life. I think we all do it. We get so accustomed to this as being normal (when it is incredibly toxic and unhealthy) that we don’t even know any different, so that when we actually start feeling our feelings, we feel panic or anxiety and it feels alien because we are not used to feeling our loneliness and our fears. Only once we get used to feeling our feelings on a daily basis do we realize just the magnitude of the mountain we have been holding in our entire lives. The way to manage our anxiety, is not to distract (or medicate) ourselves – it is to fully embrace the feelings and feel through them, and while being gentle and loving with ourselves. When the feelings move through us, we feel lighter and we can feel the healing happening. And what happens when we don’t heal and integrate those feelings? More people and circumstances are manifested in our lives that bring up those feelings. But what do people usually do? They usually continue to find more clever ways to NOT FEEL -which compounds and brings on more and more circumstances and people, until someone is feeling at their rock bottom: feeling trapped in a job or relationship, feeling like they have no control over their life, feeling like they are just going through motions, but not fully living their life. Sometimes people also live on the safe side – never taking risks, never fully growing into themselves so that they can keep avoiding their pain, avoiding anything in life that might be perceived to be too unpleasant and difficult. But by avoiding life and fully living life, we are only delaying our healing. Eventually we hit a wall and think we have bad luck and feel sorry for ourselves, or blame God or blame life or the people around us, never quite taking responsibility for running away from ourselves. It is easy to fall into a victim mentality and blame everything and everyone around us, but it is more liberating to break free from the victim mentality and to thank our “opponents” and hardships from bringing into our experience the very things we need to heal our long buried feelings.
No, energetic beings of all vibrations are not stuck unless they consciously choose to be stuck. But it does get harder to clear our emotional blocks the longer we run away from them, because the feelings get more intense and the fear of facing those feelings compound. What most people fail to understand is that energy either moves towards entropy or centropy, so even if you think certain thoughts and emotions are out of sight, out of mind, they begin to take on a life of their own, and our lives become more chaotic until we face and clear those emotional blocks. That is one reason we feel bad and drained of energy when we cocreate with someone of a lower vibration. Our energy moves from us unless we consciously keep it close. That is why it becomes harder and harder to stay in an intimate relationship if people start growing in different directions (or descending/ascending in their energy) and their vibrations start to grow apart. It can become physically uncomfortable to be close when two people have different points of vibration. Just like if we ingest junk food we can start to notice the effects almost immediately if our bodies are used to nutritionally dense food. Our bodies are pretty good to tell us what feels right in the long-run and what just gives us a temporary high but will soon crash our energy. People have just become trained at ignoring their emotions and the signals their body and intuition send them.
Honestly…people are not here on Earth to be perfect. If you have people in your life who are willing to grow, heal, face their emotional blocks and be better people, and if you are doing the same, you are richer then most. We can’t ever manipulate someone into wanting to heal. That will never work, this desire is born from within. We can only help guide another who wants to grow, and be guided by someone who has worked through and faced the challenges we are presently faced with. So there is very little point in trying to find the perfect partner, or in trying to instill perfection in ourselves or our kids, because perfection doesn’t exist. But it sure is beautiful to heal, grow and expand. And it is ok to let others go if they are not ready to grow and our paths diverge. It doesn’t help anyone to keep ourselves stuck vibrationally for another.
I realized very recently that the true gift we give to our kids is not presenting a supposed “perfect” version of ourselves…But rather in allowing them to see our imperfections, so they can witness how we face challenges and and grow, and they will feel more confidence in facing their own challenges and have more confidence that their challenges are not a doom and gloom end of the road, but rather a new begininning, a new doorway into yet another part of our consciousness that we integrate as we learn and heal.
k…so keep in mind that this information I get when I channel my spirit guides. So as you are aware, the 4th and lower dimensions are about duality. The upper 4th dimension is more what we view as heaven. The lower 4th dimension is what we view as hell. Now hell is self-created. It is a place of learning, not punishment, but also a place of no distraction, unlike earth.There are still guides there to help souls learn and transcend. The higher dimensions (5th and 6th) do not have duality, but not because there is no negativity, but because by this point souls have learned how to work with energy and now to transcend negativity and there are adventures and things to explore beyond the duality paradigm. Duality on earth is here for us to experience contrast, so that we can learn how to manifest what we desire, and so that we learn that we are all connected, that separation is a myth, so that we to learn to manifest what we desire for our greater good and the greatest good of all.
I think maybe if we take away anything from this, is not to fear the lower vibrational beings. We still have things to learn from them, and it is not about avoiding them per say, as it is about learning to work through our own emotions, so that we can in fact grow and transform through the negative experiences. Charles Baker is right, it is not all sunshine and rainbows, contrast helps us learn. If you can turn those situations from a vibration of fear, to a vibration of gratitude for what you learn and how you grow from it, then you are already raising your vibration and transcending those negative experiences. The universe will always have some ying and yang components, it is what we do with them that really determines how much joy we feel and how we learn and grow, etc. Nothing is stagnant, the universe is all about diversity and expansion.We can feel stuck, but we are never truly stuck.
It can be frustrating to send love to those that can hurt us, but it is important none the less, that is the only way we grow and pave the way for their growth. You can’t grow for them but you can plant little seeds of potentiality. At the same time we need boundaries so that we don’t lower our vibration. It is a delicate balance. It is really NOt about being a martyr….you have to know and honor your own limits.
Read this article first, this blog post is essentially a response to that.
Summary of the link: A detailed list of ways men try to manipulate women, total of approximately 230 items.
I guess because we (spouse and I) are communicating and constantly working on ourselves and in therapy…our relationship is better then some?
It is frustrating to realize because there are still walls we hit that seem to get us stuck and boundaries are always being pointed out with reminders to uphold them (works both ways obviously). I am often so sure we hit a wall with no way through or around it. I am being proven wrong so far but we shall see…So we actually do very little of the things on this list..(less then ten combined…from the pdf download that lists 230)…and call each other on things like blame shifting, dishonesty, manipulation and moodiness and try to learn to face our emotions in healthier, less destructive ways. Hard in a culture where emotional IQ is dismissed and emotional nurturing for kids and partnerships is ignored. I read a lot of psychology and spiritual material…plus counseling recently…so when I came across this list I was truly shocked that some people treat each other in such horrific ways…but some friends I shared this with told me are all very common behaviors, especially for men in relationships.
Men are of course taught from an early age to repress their emotions even more then girls. I really hope that is not true because if it is then we clearly do live in a very mentally unhealthy culture…But is it shocking since this poor regard for self and others mirrors our poor regard for animals and the environment? Anyhow…here is the list…I really hope the majority of relationships have healthier interactions then this. It makes me very sad. My main struggles are balancing boundaries with personal freedoms of expression…And realizing that freedom and compassion have limits…that is the point of a partnership…otherwise we should just remain single if we want ultimate freedom. Sex positivity has gone too far in our culture. We need to balance those rights with personal responsibility and maturity. As people grow they realize that personal fulfillment comes from looking within…not to external sources. That is the process of maturation. And of course personal compatibility is important. My boundaries will differ from someone else’s because we each have unique needs and limits. Note the link I share I think applies to both genders…but because men are pushed to bury their emotions more in childhood…they will sadly, in all likelihood, have more unhealthy patterns of relating. The process of maturity is facing oneself and healing these emotional blocks that leave us overwhelmed so that we stop relating to one another in such unhealthy ways. So that we turn inwards for fulfillment and choose healthier hobbies vs self-destructive distractions. Turning to each other and having healthy dialogue, and having an open space for sharing negative emotions in healthier ways are all important to healing ourselves and the planet.